The day has been hard, in the respect of emotional sense.
Food wise, I have entered everything I have eaten.
I went to the Dr. and met with her regarding previous lab tests, and current labs. We are running new labs now.
I have some things to work through. I have a lot before me, and I am the only one that can do this.
I hurt inside, emotionally. I want to scream at God and the world, but a small still voice inside says be patient, not yet the answers will be revealed.
Last night out of frustration my communication with my husband started breaking down. We went to bed and I couldn't sleep. While he sawed logs and had no problem sleeping (I hate that he can do this) I tossed, turned, and replayed the entire conversations over and over.
I finally tried something different, and prayed to my uncle and grandpa and asked what I should do. They were both men who valued their relationships with their perspective brides and had several years of marriage between the two of them.
The answer came to me. Write my husband a wish list of what I wanted. Write it as if I was writing to my best friend or Santa of what I want in my ideal mate, what I don't want, and why the ideal mate is important to me.
I placed the letter in his lunchbox and came back to bed praying that this was right.
The letter was well received and he said it would help him a great deal. It would help him because it was things he was already doing but he didn't know that I value them so much.
I didn't get a workout in today, because of running a temp again. Just too exhausted. So I will strive to do it again tomorrow.
Strive for lean, and building self esteem in 2013
The emotional battle within us is by far the most challenging in my experience. You're taking fantastic steps toward handling these in terrific fashion. Love the letter idea. Sometimes we have to be direct, and simply state what we need in a language not to be misunderstood. Straight talk--to the point...our needs.
ReplyDeleteIf you haven't already, I highly recommend watching "The Secret." It's the documentary that came out before the book in 2006. There's powerful imagery and straight forward explanations on how to use the Secret. It's available on Netflix, if you have that service. If not, any video store either has it or can order it, I'm sure. It's phenomenal... Absolutely life changing stuff. My best, always