I'm tired, and didn't get to sleep until after 12am. Hubby snored, tossed, turned, and was louder than normal. Why does he get good sleep and I suffer? I don't want to get up. Wonder if bug really wants to go to school? Wonder how grandma will act today? Will she bark orders at me or be thankful? Or will she be forgetful. Can't I just stay in bed? No. I should get up. I can work on PTA stuff, check in with my classes and see if there are things I can bang off my to do list. Maybe I can eat out. No. Eating out gets me into trouble. I order too much. I order unhealthy. I don't need to be spending money. I need to be saving money. I need to be cooking at home. Why do I suddenly hate cooking? I used to love cooking. I have tons of free books downloaded from Amazon, and I have yet to go through them and try the new recipes. What good does it do me if there are sitting there and I don't use them.
Wonder if we'll hear from oldest today? I wonder if she's really pregnant? Is this another lie she's spinning? I wish she would just wise up and start telling the truth. I wish she would grow up. I wish she would tell hubby she's sorry for the lies she told that nearly destroyed us. I wish she'd get real help. Does any of this really matter though? What would I do if she came back to my door? Would I ignore her, welcome her, or send her on her way? How can I ever trust her again?
I miss Robyn. I miss Beth. I miss Temera. I need to sit down and carve some time out to see them. I feel so much better after seeing them. I feel better about myself and better about things in general. They seem to help me put things into perspective and somehow help me see things clearer. I don't know how they do it.
Need to get up and start moving. I don't have time for a shower now. Oh well, not really doing anything anyway today.
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