Day 10

I slept off and on from 4pm to 9am this morning. More on than off. I feel rested but hurt in my lower back.

The last few days has been filled with laughter, memories in the making, and memories of yester year with my aunt visiting. Unfortunately she had to go home last night. By unfortunate I mean that our time seems to fly with every visit, never stagnant, always learning something new about each other, and helpful to each other (I hope) in analyzing problems, or troubling thoughts, or patterns.

We made chocolate balls, and candied pretzels. We had our fill of turkey, stuffing, and mashed potatoes.

Why does it take someone to be sick, or die for us to realize again or being reminded again what family is and why God gave us family? While I understand family can't be chosen, there are some pretty interesting people in our family if we just reach out and communicate with them.

My aunt was married to my uncle for twenty six years. They lived approximately 1-1/2 hours-2 hours away from us during some of those years, and yet it was like we were on a different planet. Too far to reach out..The misunderstandings of what was said what or what the intentions were behind the words.

Why? Why does death do this?

I've heard the nasty things my cousins have done or said to my aunt, and I cringe. How can we come from the same family? Really? Our families were supposed to have the same morals, the same values, the same life lessons yet it's like we are unrelated, unknowing, and alien to each other. I understand that their mother and they may have been hurt by the divorce from my other aunt, but when did it become okay to treat another human with sub-human standards? When did it become okay to treat someone with the disrespect that they do? Don't they realize she's grieving too? Why must their mother brain wash them?

My brother never called or came by to wish my mother Happy Thanksgiving. Yet he has time to post on face book, and go out with his daughters former boss. My mother says she hasn't seen him since our trip return from Maui. He used them. It hurts. It hurts that mother can't see this. It hurts that we came from the same womb and he can treat our mother the way that he does. He's sponged off of her for years, and doesn't hesitate to say no when she offers him anything. We don't see eye to eye on anything. He feels I got everything handed to me and he suffered. I say he got to do far more than I ever did and is still living off our parents and they continue to enable his behavior. I'm angry with him and my father. Angry that they have treated us so rotten.